Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Playing Records

So, I just wanted to take a minute and share something with you that I didn't get a chance to this weekend. When you were playing records at one point, Luke and I had a full on conversation regarding your skills. I was sharing with him my observations about you. Your level of confidence while you play.....how you are just a dj machine that keeps going and going and going....how you just throw it down...how you just seem to know exactly what you are doing.

My whole point here is to let you know how much you shine when you are behind the decks. You have skills my friend! You are talented and you absolutely radiate light when you drop beats. It is an amazing sight to behold. Wow!

Just thought I would let you know. I love you :)

I am fine

Villification of me
Not who I am
or came to be
not perfect
far from what you see
or project
me to be

Stop being angry
for what was wrong
have to be strong
let me move on
I know it is from
the heart
I take part
in this journey
with you
what did we do
I loved that too
the mischief
my mind
full throttle
self destruct
hit the breaks
abrupt stop

left behind
heart in pieces
move forward
and life teases me
beauty and
what was lost
across the ocean
constant motion
i travel to the stars
and back with you
going to mars
together in a ship

I regret
that I thought it would last
our time, now in the past
my actions - its true.
only because I am through
what you thought was the worst
but my heart aches like the first
time I felt a breathe
and I know not what to do
and I am glad
to have been with you
and hope you
will stay true
for the reasons you
left me
you happen to be
doing the same,
without me, MZ...

Don't project on me
what your problems are
I know you are shining star
amongst the women and men
you will go far
but I am not what you think I am
I know you gave to me
more than I could ever see
but I gave what I had
and it might not be much
but it was all I had...
when I had two, I gave you three
you might not have seen it this way
but without synergy,
what can I say...
my life dwindled
as my revolutions spindled
closer to your sun
and I rekindled
sparks which set me aflame
and together we came
to a new situation
with passion and love
come back
sky falling above
my life falling apart
and I start
to panic

My earth, revolving around your Sun
you know that you were my one
I give to you and not enough
but you make me feel, beyond rough
projecting your problems on me
taking time from my reality
embed yourself in my page
you knew I had to rage
to get out all my desires
but we would still conspire
to be together some day
I'm sad you did not see it that way
Wish you would have stayed

But I am fine
with who I am
no villain
I am not
I decree
every gram
pure ecstacy
or lovely cindy
you were there
with me
loving rejoicing
intertwining souls
loving and
past what
earthly delights
recombining and
playing with
no doubt
its what
life is all

I miss each day
you are not here
I love you
it is clear
to me
that you need to
be angry
in order to move on
and be free
look at yourself
don't blame me
I am fine

Dear Music

Dear Music,

I missed you...
more than you know

even though
I left
I fought
you thought
I might
never come back

But your track
record ...
seducing me
happens to be
my ecstacy
my devotion
my religion
my ocean
of love...
I'm coming back

From above
in heaven
I rejoice
you are my choice
my first love
my number one
as I voice
to you
You are my Sun
how I
love thee
I want to be
the sheets
of musical bliss
I have missed
I recall
all of this
you are my one
you are my two
You are my three
you know what to do
heal me...
my pain
its true...
I am back
To be with you

Loyal through time
one simple rhyme
in my divine
dance with notes
as I wrote
through my strife
take flight
through life
inspire me
to be
the person
will stop me
from loving you
as we planned

more than a perfect ten
In love with you I am
You take me to my Zen
I will never leave you again

Your one and only
- Mz

Burning Bridges in Lakes of Fire

So much more I'd like to say,
but didn't really happen that way...

I love you more than I can tell,
lakes of fire; I'm in hell.

Wish I'd still have you near -
only thing I have left is fear...

that you will never want to come back...
a heart broken flashback

Did I really make a mistake -
didn't realize you would hate

me - for moving forward,
time flies but not toward

a synergy between us,
a burned bridge we had to cross

jump to the other side,
heart is broken, I confide

really because you hurt too..
stop blocking me , I'm turning blue

you have hurt me quite beyond
even when I thought I was strong

Wanting to be your friend- even still,
Still, I sense your looks could kill

Killing me softly with your song,
Friends for life? Was I wrong?

And as much as I hate to say:
I wish that I could run away.

To a time when things are better.
Friends coming back together.

My way

Jolted awake
no fake-
thru inner
mystical reality
Infinite size
no compromise
but promise
to be me
magically devis-
a scheme
Yes you found
In la kesh
As best as i can say
Come my way
black hole inverse
White light traverse
Infuse and burst
You know
it hurts
Surrender to the balance
of a Universal dance
Leave you romanc-
In my dreams
im ludicdly awake
Take no prisoners
I rise
A plan
In action
Work and play
Synergy i say
Back to balance
This is my way

Parting Ways

I have no words to explain
how it is that we came
to this juncture in our life
creating even still more strife
breaking hearts with
each other
I didn't try
or go undercover
as it seems
but my heart still
and shines when
I think of you
We knew not
what to do
I thought you were done
And so I moved on
Broken hearts laying there
Believe me, that I care
I hurt as much as you
when I see your sadness
it is true
I hurt just as much
missing your lovely touch
thought you didn't want me
I just wanted to be happy
I wish I would have known
But our relationship had grown
to be a problem for us both
impeding personal growth

I'm impressed by how strong you are
You are a sun
a shining star
propelling you to be free
from relationship negativity
I Wish for you the best I can
Maybe I will see you again
when you can forgive me
for setting myself free
from what didn't work
and always hurt
both of each other
I still am a lover
of your energy
and your gaze...
come back
set ablaze
a new fire
between us
a different chapter
something new
as friends
tried and true.
I never wanted to do
Anything to hurt you

but I sense it is for the best. 
Love never did pass the test.
But that doesn't mean
I don't want to scream
in anger
and pain as well
I didn't know how you felt...
I thought we were done
never to be one
or maybe down the line
but i thought it was fine
to give you love right now
It was Too soon, somehow
misinterpretation of my intent
That is the one thing I resent
because I love you no matter what
but hurting as the door shut
was not what I wanted
now my heart is haunted
with feelings of grief
and sadness...

I will never forget you.

Moving Forward

If I could express to you
How sorry I am
I never wanted to hurt
you or I

My heart is fragile,
but capable of so much
My soul and body
still missing your touch
As I move forward,
sometimes I panic...
I know deep down,
I have to be honest.
I am grateful for the time we had
but looking back, its making me sad

I am wishing you
all the love, happiness, and success
that I couldn't give to you...
though all my love was certainly true.
two souls colliding trying to make it work
instead breaking hearts, going berserk

I'm sorry I am not where we need each other to be.
sadness still sometimes overcomes me
I know I wasn't right for you,
Even if we are not meant two plus one is three
doubting my ability
to be fatherly
creating instability
I apologize deeply
for going astray
not knowing the way
I will continue
I will strive
I will still love you...
as long as Im alive.