Thursday, June 13, 2013

Happy Birthday

hanging head in shame,
you know the name
of this drill
one day
you'll come back and want to feel
what is a next level deal.
Your happy birthday gift
... so swift,
Didn't know that you would do
something like this...
no wonder it was
that I also have
things I miss
in this entangled deadly kiss.
So sweet and soft to the touch,
but delivery poisonous -truth
venemous -much
with your serpentine long lists
of previous heart eclipses
many tainted
while mine, in one hand painted.
Align your mind to the truth
and you will view
that I just merely asked
for bare minimum,
just be there for me
when I need someone.
You make it out to be
that I control thee...
but I give you freedom to be
and just wish to
Nurture I do,
nature I am,
perfect am not,
but you broke this dam.
You make me see
something lacking honesty,
while you see some one and
and still planned to move in with me.
You tell my friends one thing,
while my family another.
Straight to my face and
even my mother..
Now look within yourself,
and tell me all you seek.
Seems like a fallacy
when your will is weak.

Friday, June 7, 2013


although not a saint
truth I will paint
and stroke this brush
when you tell me to hush
you decree publicly
what you can't say to me
but I call it out
and mutual friends turn about
instilled by thee
when you decide
to hurt me
in front of our community
I merely say you what you are doing
pain is what you find alluring
in a public forum
I point out your decorum
and I am the one to blame?
and I should be the one to contain?
when I am willing to give you my hand
but instead you want to disband
behaving dishonestly
for this I cannot stand

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

You will realize

in the long run
your time of fun
will run dry
and you will cry
over what was lost
and what was offered
and how it was
that i have suffered
you will then realize
that i am the prize
with infinite potential
but you merely thinking
that I was mental
a true genius inside
you should have stayed
in my pocket
and by my side

i will
conquer my fears
and wipe my tears
this window is closed
and the truth appears
you lie to yourself
and then to me
your overlap of love
and the timing you said...
is just
a complete fallacy
you tell me your side and
then your reasons
but your actions don't align
and i see
winter's your season
cold hearted you are
and how you treated me
 as you leave 
someone who loves you
when you knew i needed love
and you couldn't pass a test
to be my girlfriend
or my partner
so i put it to rest
you left during the bad
and soon i will be good
you don't deserve me
because you treat me
 not as you should

with your friends telling you
they don't see what you see
focusing mostly
on negativity
to justify your actions
merely to quench
your own physical satisfactions
now i sit on the bench
and i will then disappear
and this will be clear
that you threw me away
when you should have stayed
for my love is epic
and my future is golden
fool you are
you might be lonely and old then
and though my heart is shattered
and pride i've swallowed
i see 
you don't know what truly mattered

you left before
a chance we both deserved
i suspect one day soon
you will get served
a dose of your karma
so huge
much it will hurt
even though you feel 
that I am the jerk

I tell it it how it is
calling out you and your man
you have no integrity
for ruining our plan
and i see your dishonesty
because you felt differently
from what you told me
i wish this was a figment, see
we were to move in together
you requested the changes
while I accepted you
knowing your dangers
all the things we forgave
while I was your slave
but now i will find
someone who will return
all that love that i gave.

Monday, June 3, 2013


trying to make my peace
by saying my piece...
at least
to make my wrong right
at least
to say goodnight
to pasts we had
and as time passes
and emerge
here's my invitation
to break bread
starting new patterns
leaving behind
what we had instead

Confession of Love (Followed by Rejection)

 have a hard time
holding back
what is in my heart 
as it attacks 
my logicaI mind
as it unwinds
falls apart
and then comes back 
and its not my intent
maybe you're right
maybe I'm sick
but I am who I am
and try as I might
I find myself
seeking the light
the answers
and truth 

wish you you would see
the light within me
and realize my sorrow
is not unfounded
but also
would not be there tomorrow
if I were still in your pocket
and had you by my side
to help me heal
so in you I can confide

so many things I want to say
but my pride gets in the way
for I am to come back soon
and I wish upon a star
and I look up at the moon
now I give up on my will
and tell how you I feel
simply put
that I love you still

Monday, May 20, 2013

its all the same

i give up,
i give in...
i lost when "all in"
Nothing left to lose,
nothing left to gain...
nothing left at all...
its all the same,
now i have shattered pieces
scattered about,
like a child, i scream,
and cry out.
in anger, in pain..
frustrations are
driving me insane
whie expecting different results
from doing the same
trying to break that spell
that I know too well. 
trying to break
that mental jail
find the positive
in what remains
but when you have nothing...
it's all the same.