Jaded

jaded
inundated
with feelings that I feel
I hate it
when overwhelmed with
self doubt
being told that a liar am I
called a coward
its about
...time
that I left that behind
you think that I was bad
you have no idea...
for bad is ...
atrocities and lies
cowardice?
yes fear I fear
despise despicable
hatred and vice
death... I surmise
and yes,
when given the choice
I voiced to you that you were my one
showed ,  TRIED in TRUTH
I tried all the same
driving us insane
perfect, my love far from
but you must think I'm dumb
to believe your words
I'm at a loss
for ...
what verity speaks louder than
and for what you believe...
for I conceive
ideas...
theories...
far beyond...
your capabilities
fear this:
for I am a dreamer of dreams
my nightmares would make you scream
know in truth who I am
my generosity
I overextend
to a fault
to you
now...
in that vault
lays a heart that was once a jewel
now petrified and then broken
shattered into pieces
and fully open
I am a fool
now I work on this puzzle
putting those pieces back
together because
one day I hope to love again